


Party Animal

by blueelvewithwings



Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age II
Genre: Aftercare, All the Kink None of the Sex, Bathing/Washing, Consensual Imprisonment, Consent Issues, Cuddling & Snuggling, Established Relationship, Explicit Consent, Exposure, Happy Ending, M/M, Panic Attacks, Public Humiliation, Subspace, Sunburn, Verbal Humiliation, Watersports, so much love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-03
Updated: 2018-06-05
Packaged: 2019-05-17 21:03:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14839113
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blueelvewithwings/pseuds/blueelvewithwings
Summary: Wanting to confront his fears of being caged and humiliated, Anders lets Fenris lock him in a cage in front of the entrance of the Rose for an entire day and a night. His mind goes to some dark places, but he knows that in the end Fenris will be there for him to make all the hurt disappear again and show him that he is loved.





	1. Caged

**Author's Note:**

> //A visit to the very amazing Rotterdam zoo and a conversation about nonconsensually caged giraffe food somehow let to the idea of putting Anders in a cage... but consensually! And then what was supposed to be a little drabble somehow grew into a little monster... a consensually caged monster at least! Read the first chapter with caution if you are easily put off by the things mentioned in the tags, the second chapter is pure fluff.

The fear hit him once he saw the cage in front of him, the door still open, and nothing but metal bars beyond. Suddenly his throat was tight, and he felt like he couldn’t breathe anymore. But then there was Fenris behind him, his strong arms around Anders‘ waist, his voice low in Anders‘ ear. „Remember your safeword, love. I’ll always be there to hear it. I’m always here for you, no matter what.“ Somehow, that gave him the strength to go forward in the end, stepping into the cage with nothing on but the collar around his neck.

When the door closed behind him, it sounded so final, but he closed his eyes and refused to let it get to him. For the moment, at least. It was only a day after all. Twenty four hours, and Fenris would be there for each oft hem. He had promised after all, and Anders _trusted_ him.

„Such a sweet pet you are“ Fenris purred as soon as the door had closed behind him, reaching out through the bars to stroke along Anders‘ chest where he had left the word _pet_ in wax drippings just a few hours earlier. „So good for me” he purred, “agreeing to sit here and mark the entrance of the Rose for an entire day, you’ll be the greatest thing any of the visitors will see all day, nothing can be more beautiful than you.”

Anders flushed crimson at that, looking down at the ground. He felt anything but beautiful, naked in a cage, adorned with fresh cane strokes on his butt and not much else. But Fenris said he was, and Fenris was right. They had agreed that Anders would not speak for the entire day, unless he was saying his safeword, and maybe that would be for the best indeed.

Fenris stepped back then and Anders felt the cage move below him. He flinched a little as it first started to raise, but soon just leaned back in it when it became clear that it was strong enough to hold Anders’ light body. That was their agreement after all. Anders, on display, for a whole day and a night, naked, hanging in a cage in front of the Rose on their special Kink Day. And then Fenris would take care of him, treating him and spoiling him. He looked forward to that especially. But he had wanted this, had told Fenris about how he wanted to go over his fear of tight spaces and being caged, how he felt the need to confront it, but in a safe environment.

And after a lot of talking, and discussions, and a few tears and a lot of cuddles, Fenris had agreed to take him to the Rose and display him there for a day, and had promised that he would be just out of sight, but would never leave Anders alone. He wanted to make sure that Anders was okay even in such a situation, when everyone could come by and hurt him, and that made Anders love him even more.

It was going to be a hot day, he could already tell that much. They had agreed that Fenris would come to the front a few times that day and give him water, but no food. He had made Anders eat a big dinner the day before, and had made sure he ate a filling breakfast before they left for the Rose, but Anders knew he’d feel like he would be starving by the time his stay in the cage was up.

The cage started swaying a little as it got higher, but it only stopped rising once Anders was hanging above the entrance door, held up only by a chain attached to the top of the cage and running through a hook in the ceiling and down again to somewhere where Fenris could fasten it to the wall.

Once it stopped being pulled up and reached its final destination for the day, Anders’ throat started to close up again. He would sit here, the metal bars digging into his ass for a whole day and a night, his ass and genitals on display for everyone who went into the Rose below him, his chest branded as a pet, his ass freshly striped from the cane to show he had been disciplined recently, and only a collar around his neck keeping him from being completely naked.

He reached up to touch said collar, finding comfort in it now rather than feeling oppressed by it. This was what Fenris gave him when they played, when Fenris became Master and made him feel safe and taken care of and gave him all the freedom he wanted in taking his choices away.

Fenris wasn’t going to be Master today, they had agreed, he would stay Fenris, but Anders would wear the collar anyway, to feel loved and secure. He now leaned back against the cage, bars digging into his back, and tried to settle into the secure feeling the collar usually gave him.

It took almost an hour for the first person to actually come and approach the Rose, and upon seeing Anders he looked up and sneered, eyeing what Anders was putting on display through the cage. “Been bad, huh, slut?” he called up and then went on with his way, entering the Rose to seek entertainment, or maybe just a drink.

Such a nonchalant way of saying it, and yet it hit Anders hard. A slut. Maybe that was all he was now. Not even a beloved pet anymore, just a slut showing off his assets. He shifted a little, trying to get a little more comfortable. Not that he was likely to reach any sort of comfortable position at all in this cage.

When the next people came by, he actually had his eyes closed, trying to keep the panic at bay, maybe even trying to get some rest. It would be a long day and a longer night, he knew that much. And being stuck at a not inconsiderable height did not make it better. Nor did the fact that Fenris had not spoken at all anymore or even moved in a way that let Anders know for sure that he was still there. But he trusted him, so Fenris would still be there.

“Look, they even put someone up there… wonder if we can have him gotten down, get him a nice fuck to warm him up…” His companion laughed, and they disappeared into the Rose without further comment.

And then it became quiet for a while. Early morning was not the busiest time for the brothel, he knew, and it was late enough that all the ones who had stayed the whole night had already gone home. He kept his eyes closed, trying to breathe evenly and not let his thoughts linger too much on the fact that he was in a tiny cage, round, but not broad enough in diameter for him to stretch out his legs, just high enough for him to sit up. Whenever he’d shift the whole thing would sway, and he’d hit some other part of his body on the cold metal bars.

His ass felt like it was on fire, from the cane strokes from before, but also from being pushed against the bars by Anders’ whole body weight. His shoulders weren’t doing much better. He contemplated for a while to call his safeword and have Fenris get him down. He wouldn’t last like this, not for a whole day and a night, but he wanted to try. HE knew Fenris would take care of him like this as well, make sure he felt safe, soothe his anxiety, but he’d still feel like he had failed.

He wanted to do this for himself, and he loved Fenris for supporting him. He wanted to make Fenris proud, but today, he also wanted to make himself proud. So he endured, turned his face into sun as it rose and tried to relax his limbs as much as the cage would allow him.

Below him, some questionable people were setting up their stalls, and some of them pointed or called up to him. But somehow, it didn’t really matter much. They couldn’t touch him. He was locked away, confined, but he was also safe, out of their reach, safely encaged in bondage by his beloved Fenris, keeping him safe and sound instead of constricting. He even managed to smile down at one of them, only to get a leer back in return. He winked at the man and turned to look into the sun again.

It occurred to him that he had not thought to apply some of his protective ointment before, so he would probably be quite sunburned by the time he got out. He considered calling for Fenris to ask him about it, but then again… this was about enduring, testing his own limits. He had been scared for so long, scared of Templars, of captivity, of chains, of exposure. He wanted to prove to himself that he could brave those things, that he was stronger than his fears. He wanted to grow, to be a better person, to not fall into a panic every time he had to look into a small, crammed space. He had no idea if this was actually a good way of approaching it, but he wanted to try. It was the only way he could think to try that would make him face all this for real while also being safe.

So he did not call out, just braced himself to start feeling his skin heat up more and more as the day wore on. Fenris had said nothing about not being allowed to heal himself, but somehow it would feel like cheating if he actually healed himself. Not to mention it might alert some passersby to the fact that there was indeed a mage sitting in the cage, not just any random kinkster.

He did try to rearrange himself in a way that the sun would not immediately hit his privates though, because he knew that would hurt a lot. He had tried that once on one of his escapes, sunbathing in the nude with his Circle-pale complexion. It had been a mistake, one he did not intend to make again.

The sun was high in the sky when there was a clank at the cage, causing him to look up, almost sending him into a fright for a moment. How had anyone reached him up here, how had they gotten close to him? But it was only Fenris, reaching up with a long wooden pole with a wired loop in the end that held a cup of water. Gratefully, Anders reached through the bars and took it from Fenris to drink it.

That was when he realised one thing: He would not be let out of the cage. Not even to relieve himself. Obviously, that was the moment he realised he would also need the chamber pot in not too long a time. He halted in his drinking for a while, contemplating if he should finish the cup, but he knew that he would need to drink lest he get dehydrated, and he would also need to piss no matter what. It would be humiliating, he knew, but that was what he was after after all, wasn’t it?

So he finished the cup and carefully put it back in the wire holder with a quiet word of thanks. Fenris, down on the floor, just looked up at him for a long moment before nodding and receding inside again and disappearing from Anders’ view.

Now that he was aware again, he also couldn’t forget about it again, and his bladder and the pressure in it took up more and more and more of his conscious thoughts. He didn’t want to let go though, knowing that people still watched them as they passed by. And by now there were more and more people coming that actually went into the Rose, and almost all of them paused to look up at Anders first and make some comments.

“Oh, I see they let the dirty laundry out to dry.”

“What a whore, presenting himself to everyone like that.”

“Look, they put it up there when it was too fucked out to bring any pleasure anymore, I’m sure. “

“Hello sweetheart, how about we get you down there and fuck you through the bars of the cage, huh? Looks just about right to still get my dick through.”

Each of these remarks themselves wouldn’t even have done anything to him, but to hear them all together, all the time, just tossed carelessly his way or even said to someone else as if he couldn’t even hear, or wasn’t worth speaking to, it was getting to him. He could feel his eyes getting wet while his ears and cheeks heated up in embarrassment, and he tried crossing his legs so they’d hide his privates, but realising that it wasn’t possible with someone else watching was more terrible than finding it out that morning.

A silent tear rolled down his cheek as he realised that this was all he was to these people, some entertainment, a joke, some fun, not a human, no one worth of affection, attention, even a single kind word. He was no one. He was invisible, just a tool for these people to make fun of something, to live out their kinks.

A quiet sob escaped him, and he buried his face in his knees. He was nothing at all… he was worthless, useless. He wasn’t even a good sub, serving his Master, or someone else, bringing someone else pleasure. He was just a nobody dangling in a cage, forgotten and lost, and no one cared about him.

Somehow crying made the pressure in his bladder worse, and just when he thought he couldn’t keep it in anymore he shifted, trying to take some pressure off his bladder to make it easier to last another while, but as he did, he opened his eyes and spotted him.

The first Templar.

The first likely many Templars that would come and visit the Rose that night. Fenris and Anders normally never went on this particular night that would be hosted once a month, because it was always swimming with Templars.

Anders saw him, and for a moment he forgot that he was here naked, and the Templars didn’t actually know his face and wouldn’t recognise him, and he was so scared. He was so scared that he forgot he was holding in his pee and literally pissed himself in fear, cramping back up too late to keep it in. He felt it run up his thighs warmly and heard it splatter down on the floor moments later. And now that he had started there wasn’t really a way to stop, so he let it all out, hiding his face again in shame.

The Templar was watching, he knew it. He knew it and he could hear him laughing under him, heard his steps as he came closer and walked to under Anders’ cage, where his steps stopped.

“Disgusting mess, wonder why they even put something like this up, rather than a well behaved slave” he grumbled, despite the earlier laugh, and then he was already walking away again, through the puddle that Anders made and into the Rose.

Disgusting. That was what he was, and Anders knew it. Disgusting, no one would want to spend any quality time with him or even have him serve them for an evening. That was why he was only good for putting up here on display, alone and left out for all to humiliate.

Rationally, he knew that it wasn’t true, but rational thoughts were starting to leave him. His ass was hurting from where it was continually pressed into the metal bars, and no matter how much he shifted, the bars always aggravated his cane marks and pressed into his skin too hard. His knees were hurting from not being able to stretch out, he was getting hungry and had nothing to distract himself from it. The sun was standing high in the sky by now and beat down on him, making him sweat and feel disgusting. He never was one for the heat, but he also knew that come night he would wish for the blazing sun to come back.

He didn’t quite realise who passed him by, but whenever he caught a glimpse of a Templar he’d tense up and try to hide, even though few of the Templars ever saw his face. He doubted that they’d even recognise him without his coat, but he could never be sure.

Almost no one that came by left him without a comment, all of them talking about how pretty he was, how useless he was just hanging there, or how they’d want to fuck him if they could get their hands on him. Somehow, Anders had never wanted to have sex less in his life than in that moment. This was about testing his borders, and it surely was kinky, but his cock could not have been more flaccid had he tried.

The first person to come by and recognise him turned out to be Isabela. He should have figured that she’d want to go to the Rose’s special night, and that she’d come early at that. She stood under his cage, looking up at him for a while without saying anything. But then she stepped up, somehow managing to make eye contact with him even though he tried to look away.

“You wanna be up there, sweetie?” she asked, obvious concern in her voice. For all her flirting and bluster, he knew Isabela was a very caring person and that she knew about his issues with being restrained in any way. Now, Fenris had forbidden him from speaking with any passers-by, but he knew that if he did not give her an answer, she’d have him down and out of the cage in just seconds. So he gave her a shaky smile and a nod before turning his head to indicate the direction in which he knew Fenris was standing. The cage was too small for him to turn and look, but Fenris had shown him the spot before they started.

Isabela nodded in return and looked in the indicated direction, and whatever she saw there seemed to convince her, because the next time she looked up at Anders it was with a broad grin on her face.

“It’s been so long since I’ve seen your bits, darling. What a shame you can’t come down here to show me your electricity trick again… but maybe you’ll come join us later” she teased and tossed him a wink. “Or maybe he’ll leave you in the cage and just allow us all to fondle you a bit… I’d love to play with you again, you know I can make it last for hours.” But with that, she disappeared into the Rose and left him alone again.

The next one to pass by was – in some cruel twist of fate – Sebastian.

“What a disgusting display” he told Fenris, not even looking directly at Anders, as if here weren’t a sentient being worth acknowledging. “For him to hang there, exposing himself for all to see. It is unworthy of one of the Maker’s creations.”

Unworthy he was anyway, Anders thought as he saw Sebastian walking away again after lecturing Fenris some more about how wrong it was for Anders to crave something like this, to let himself be put up like this. “He wouldn’t be in there if he didn’t want it after all” he’d said at the end. “They all want it, deep down in their innermost heart.”

Hearing that made him sob, pulling up his shoulders and hiding his face so no one would be able to see him cry. He knew he was worthless now, and even trying to get over his fear, his uselessness made him only more worthless, made him a public menace, something to look down upon even more.

And from there on it just kept spiralling down. Every new comment, every derogative term used for him just hit the goal, sending him in more and more of a panic. It was a bit like he was dissociating from himself, as if he was floating above himself, seeing him sob and cry and shake, get colder and colder as the night progressed and the sun retreated behind the horizon, retreating deeper and deeper into his head. He felt paralysed by panic, humiliating seeping deep inside him to hurt him in places he never thought possible, but still he knew that it was helping, somehow. That it would make him stronger to get through this, to withstand the onslaught of disregard and humiliation.

One Templar seemed to be especially vicious, standing under his cage for what felt like hours, teasing and taunting him and telling him how pretty and worthless he was, good for nothing but to put on show, not even good enough to be a lowly whore, how fucked out he must be already to bring no one pleasure anymore so that they would put him up in a cage like that.

Anders hid his face in his hands then, trying to hide away from the world as he cried even harder, pleading for the Templar to stop and only succeeding in goading him on even more. Saying stop wouldn’t make it stop, he knew that. Only the watchword could. If he were to say his watchword, Fenris would be there within seconds, chasing the Templar off, getting him down and out of the cage, and he’d take him inside. Then he’d tend to his sunburns, warm him up again, make him drink and eat and praise him for being so good, for holding out so long. He’d tell him how proud he was, and Anders knew he would mean it. Fenris was proud of him for every single moment he stayed up here, he was sure of it. But there was someone else to make proud besides Fenris today. Fenris might be proud of him even if he called his watchword now, but Anders wouldn’t. He wanted to make it through the night, to prove himself that he could do it, that he could withstand the pressure and his internal demons. And somehow knowing that he could call an end to it at any moment made it better, and he leaned his head back against he bars again, still crying but no longer hiding, and just let it happen.

Eventually, the Templar grew tired of teasing Anders as well and continued on his way, and then he was left alone for a long time. His skin burned where the sun had glared down at him all day, and in the fading light he could still see how brightly red his skin was burning. The bars of the cage were turning cold in the quickly cooling evening air, and every gust of wind made Anders shiver. Fenris had only been by twice more to give him a cup of water, and to check if he was still doing alright. He knew he was there, somewhere behind him, could almost feel his eyes on his back, and yet he suddenly felt so lonely, as if everyone he loved had left him behind. No one was there anymore, the merchants had long since packed up and left for the night, and there was no one to see on the dark area in front of the Rose. There was a dim shimmer coming from behind him, where the entrance was illuminated, but that was all.

It felt like he was the only person in the entirety of Thedas, left alone to freeze here, hanging in a metal cage while everyone moved on with their lives. He could hear voices and laughter from within the Rose, and the occasional moan or loud word, but all of it was indistinct, as if from another world, not meant for him. He took a deep breath, and then put his head down again and wept, allowing himself this weakness, allowing himself to feel sorry for himself like this.

As the night wore on, he became less and less aware or worried about what people might think about him, and more concerned with how cold it was. The metal bars of the cage were freezing where they pushed into his sore ass and back, and even huddling close together, curling up and trying to conserve as much body heat as possible did not work very well. He was shivering so much, but his healer’s mind reminded him that as long as he was still shaking, everything was still okay. He only needed to start worrying if the shivering stopped.

It was still early in the year, and little puffs of air formed in front of his face every time he exhaled. He knew he could murmur a little heat spell, warm himself up at least temporarily. But that would feel like cheating, so he didn’t. Also, who knew if not a Templar would be exiting the Rose at that exact moment, and he had no desire to finish the night in the Gallows.

At some point, he realised he felt too worn out for even crying, too exhausted to do anything much but sit there, curled close together, and just wait for it to be over. He had no idea how late it was, but it was completely dark by then, the sun long since gone, the moons high up in the sky but mostly concealed by clouds to that they weren’t really visible either. It was terribly cold and uncomfortable, but he’d be able to just wait it out. Ignore the outside world, ignore everyone who’d soon start to go home, and just wait until the sun rose and Fenris would come to get him.

But then, it started to rain.

Just a few drops at first, nothing spectacular. Then, as the rain became heavier, he was glad that his cage was fastened to the little bit of roof that stood above the entrance of the Rose, so it wouldn’t hit him directly. The wind was not his friend that night though, and pushed the rain just far enough under the roof that it started to hit Anders in his cage, making him wet and even more cold and even more miserable.

He knew his cage was too small for it, but he still tried to turn himself around so at least he would not be facing the rain, but it was to no avail. All he managed was to get in contact with the freezing bars in even more places, and when the cage started swaying a bit from the movement and made him stumble into the bars again, the little impact was enough to make his bladder go again. At least this time no one noticed him pissing himself except for Fenris. If he was even still watching.

Having his own warm urine running down his thighs was a relief, if only a very short lived one. It started cooling almost instantly, adding to the wet, ice cold liquids already covering his body. Shivering, he gave up on trying to change his position and leaned back against the cage again, flinching as his sore back hit the freezing cold metal again. He tried shifting sideways just a tiny bit so at least the bars would press into different parts of his skin, but lifting away from them was even more painful than just staying pressed against them until his skin was numb and in pain at the same time, so he stayed in place.

He had no time how long it rained, and he had no idea who had started leaving the Rose again. He had his face buried in his arms again, letting the rain beat down on him as he drifted somewhere between wakefulness and sleep, or maybe awareness and unconsciousness. He wasn’t sure there would be a difference, at this point. Somewhere in the back of his mind he realised all the symptoms of a body slowly shutting down, preparing to lose consciousness and pass out, but he didn’t care about that right now. If he passed out maybe Fenris would come collect him, or he’d come get him in the morning and he’d have made it through.

He could hear voices below him more often, happy voices, drunk voices, voices that sounded like they had had been sated by a wonderful orgasm. Part of him wondered what it would feel like to be those people, going home from an eventful night, passing under a cage that was no longer worthy of any sort of attention, mind set on returning home to a soft bed, maybe even a loving pair of arms to fall asleep in. He wondered if any of the people passing below even remembered that he was here, if any of them even thought to look up and see if he was still there.

No one made a comment anymore about him, or to him, or at least if they did they did so so quietly that Anders was not able to hear them. And somehow, that was worse. Even being called worthless, taunted and teased and assaulted with words meant that in that moment, he was worth enough to be on their minds, enough to at least make a little comment and spare him a glance.

Now, he was nothing.

They wouldn’t care if he wasn’t there anymore, wouldn’t care if he had died over night or just disappeared. They wouldn’t care if the cage was empty, or not there anymore at all. No one would wonder what had happened to the man in the cage above the door, because he was nothing, not worthy of attention, of a second thought, of love and care.

He knew this, and still the realisation hit him hard. No one cared about him, he was a nobody. He was only wanted for the things he could give, healing, magic, sex. He was hunted because of what the Maker had made him, but no one cared about the person he was, or if he was even around anymore. If he’d disappear, the Darktowners would find another healer, another mage would lead the Mage Underground, Fenris would find another lover. One that wasn’t as demanding and perverted and sick in the head, someone more worthy of him, someone he could love and spend his entire life with. Someone who wasn’t a persecuted, twisted escaped Grey Warden with a life expectancy of maybe another twenty years at best.

Hawke would find another mage to drag around, Bethany and Merrill were always willing to come with him, and they had encountered enough apostates to recruit someone else for their team, someone who could be their healer instead.

NO one needed him. And no one would miss him. Maybe it would be for the best if he just stayed in this cage forever, to be laughed at and taunted until he passed, and they’d discard his body in the dump pile behind the Rose, and that would be it. No one would ask about him or even wonder, and he wouldn’t need to burden anyone with trying to give him a proper funeral.

Yes, he thought just as the sun started to turn the horizon pink with her first tender attempts at rising, Fenris would be better off without him.


	2. Loved

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fenris takes his mage out of the cage and proceeds to pamper him as much as they both need.

He didn’t know why the cage suddenly started swaying again, but when he opened his eyes to blearily look around, he could see that he was slowly being lowered down. Why was that? He hadn’t said his watchword! And surely Fenris would not remember, he probably had found someone much more worthy of his attention by now, only too glad to leave the bothersome mage behind for someone better.

He winced as the cage hit the floor, his tender backside being jostled upon contact with the cobblestones and the lingering wetness from relieving his bladder earlier in the night. He blinked and looked around without comprehension as he felt the door to the cage being opened.

And then Fenris was there.

He was there and his voice was in Anders’ ear, even though he didn’t understand anything of what he was saying. But It was nice, to have someone talk to him again, and when he only blinked slowly at Fenris instead of reacting the elf reached out for him with a questioning face, and he nodded. He didn’t realise what Fenris was reaching for until he felt himself being scooped up, his skin protesting where it was pulled away from the metal bars, and then he was being lifted up and out of the cage, and just as he thought to protest because he hadn’t said he watchword yet he realised that the sun was rising, and his time was up.

He had made it.

He had made it through, and he was safe now.

He was safe now, and Fenris loved him still. A miracle. Even someone as worthless as Anders could find love… even if Fenris would sooner or later realise what he had saddled himself with.

He closed his eyes and leaned in, listening to his favourite voice on earth. He was too far gone to understand, but just the cadence alone was soothing. He recognised this from when Fenris got him deep into subspace and then carefully coaxed him back, and he knew he’d eventually surface enough to understand all the sweet things Fenris was undoubtedly telling him.

Fenris, who loved him.

He had no idea where they were going, but it was warm, and Fenris was safe, so he didn’t care. He could feel Fenris sway as they went, and somehow their elation shifted again. Weird, he was sure Fenris hadn’t come into the cage with him, why were they being pulled up again?

And then there was wet, but warm, and it wasn’t rain but it was encompassing him, making his sore muscles scream and relax at the same time. His head lolled back and hit some edge, but then Fenris’ hand was already there to buffer him and gently position him differently.

His eyes stayed open, fixed on Fenris’ beautiful face, but he had no idea what was going on, so he closed them again, focusing on the feeling of his muscles slowly relaxing, the pain of having been under strain for so long only to have it all released in one go.

He dozed a bit, only marginally aware of Fenris still being there, his hand carding through Anders’ hair, never stopping to talk to him in that sweet, gentle voice. Eventually though, curiosity got the better of the mage, and he convinced his eyes to open again.

He looked around, and realised that they were in the Rose at this point. They were in one of the lavish bedrooms, the expensive ones that could be rented for an entire night, and there was a tub in the middle with warm, scented water, and that was where Anders was. Fenris was sitting next to him on the floor, leaned on the wall of the tub so he could reach Anders and caress him.

“Are you with me again, amatus?” he asked, and this time Anders understood him. He wasn’t quite there yet though, so he only smiled and gave a little shrug. Or as much of a shrug as he could with all his muscles still aching and his body still half asleep and half in trance.

“C’mejinme?” He wasn’t sure his request was anywhere near understandable, but Fenris knew him, knew what he liked after a scene, so he nodded and make quick work of stripping before climbing in the tub as well, gently maneuvering Anders so he was in the V of Fenris’ legs, leaned back against the elf’s chest. He turned his head to the side, trying to nuzzle Fenris even as he was with his back to him.

“I have you, my darling” was Fenris’ reply to that, and his strong arms came up to embrace Anders, making him feel so loved and so safe.

“You did so well, I am so, so proud of you. You are the best, and you’re so strong. I did not think I could love you any more, my Anders, but this made me so proud. And you did it, you made it all the way to the end. You can be so proud of yourself too now, you made it, you proved to yourself that you can do it, that you’re so strong.”

The love was almost palpable in Fenris’ voice, and Anders managed a tired smile as he lifted his hand to rest on Fenris’ where they were crossed on his chest.

“You love me still?” he asked, and felt Fenris still behind him for a second. But before he could panic again, tell himself that of course Fenris did not love him, what was he even thinking asking about that, his beloved gave him an answer.

“Of course, love. I love you so much. Why would I… not love you anymore? If anything, I love you even more now!”

Somehow, as he was getting out of the haze and the panic he had gotten himself into, it all seemed so clear. Of course Fenris still loved him, he had agreed to letting him do this, to pampering him after, to standing and watching over him for the entirety of the time Anders was in the cage. How was he so stupid to think anything differently.

“Did you think I would not love you anymore?” Fenris sounded timid now, and Anders knew he was already angry with himself for letting the mage slip that much. So he reached up with his other hand, cupping Fenris’ cheek without seeing it. Or maybe just half his face.

“I just thought you deserved better than me…. And maybe you do, but it makes me very happy that you love me instead” he murmured, and felt Fenris shake his head under his hand.

“You’re perfect, I don’t want anyone else. We are… we are going to have a conversation about this, your thoughts while you were in there, but now it’s just about you, love. Making you feel good again.”

Anders wanted to tell him that he already felt amazing and safe and warm, but somehow that just seemed like too much effort, so he dropped his hand and nodded. Fenris shifted them a bit, reaching for something, and that was when Anders noticed the table next to the tub, filled with soaps and oils and food and drinks.

Obviously, that was when he realised he was starving.

Fenris reached for a cup though, shifting so they were facing each other at an angle with Anders half in Fenris’ lap, and he carefully lifted the cup to Anders’ lips, coaxing him to drink some before replacing it on the table and picking up one part of a cut-up sandwich to feed it to Anders. The first bite tasted weird, and his mouth was too dry somehow, and Anders wanted to devour the whole thing in one bite. Fenris made him take slow bites though, so that he wouldn’t make himself sick after not eating for an entire day.

Once the sandwich was gone Fenris made him drink some more, then kissed the top of his head. “Are you getting warm again, love?” he murmured, and Anders nodded sleepily in response. His muscles were slowly decramping, he felt like he could move his limbs again. The warm but not hot water had helped slowly bringing him up to a more comfortable temperature, but he was still shivering and still sore, and the sunburns and imprints from the metal bars were starting to bother him more and more.

“Warm… but sore” he admitted, and Fenris, kind and endlessly patient soul that he was, simply nodded and carefully helped him to sit up.

“Let me help you out then and dry you off. I have brought some of the ointments you keep at your clinic, they will help.”

Anders smiled at him, letting himself be manhandled out of the tub and dried off, carefully and with a soft towel, and then Fenris made him lay down on the bed while he sat next to him and unscrewed a tub of salve, one that Anders recognised as having made himself just the day before.

Fenris really was too good for him. He should tell him as much, maybe, some day. Or hope that he could be just as good for him in return.

“I love you” he murmured instead, languidly stretching out on the bed as Fenris carefully started to put the ointment on his ass. It hurt, and he knew he pulled a face along with the whimper that escaped him, but Fenris was gentle and it would soon start to take effect and help him, and just the coolness of the salve was already soothing some of the soreness away, so he didn’t move, just lay there and allowed it to happen, still floating in that space where he wasn’t quite tethered all the way to reality yet and it felt a bit like he was having a very pleasant dream.

“Are you proud of yourself for making it through the entire day?” Fenris asked him once he had put salve all over his back and turned him around so he could see to the sunburns on his front. He let out a sympathetic whimper as he saw the state of Anders’ burned chest and shoulders and leaned down to kiss it first before starting to spread the ointment on it as well.

“Maybe later… just happy it’s over for now” Anders told him, reaching out and flailing his hand until Fenris let him pull him up for a kiss. It was chaste, but warm, full of the love that Anders knew they felt for each other. He dropped back onto the pillow with a content sigh afterwards and held out his arms.

“I want cuddles. Maybe a nap. And more food.” Fenris let out a little chuckle but immediately obliged, putting the jar of salve on the nightstand and crawling into bed with the mage, embracing him and tucking Anders’ head under his chin.

“Not all at the same time, my love. But you surely can eat more after a nap.” Anders hummed in response, nuzzling into Fenris’ shoulder and just bathing in his presence, feeling safe and warm and happy here in his lover’s arms where nothing could happen to him.

“Do you want the collar off?” Fenris asked him some time later, and only then did Anders realise that he was indeed still wearing it. Now that he thought about it, it was also pushing against his neck and shoulder quite uncomfortably with the way it was sitting.

“Please?” he muttered and allowed Fenris to pull away just enough for him to remove the collar from around his neck before snuggling back into him. His eyes were slowly starting to drift shut, as he was exhausted from the day, from the physical strain but also the emotional turmoil he had been through. Now that his aches and hurts were slowly fading he came back to himself a little more, and he was able to acknowledge that he was indeed proud of himself.

He had done it, he had not called the quits, he had proven to himself that he could last through humiliation, that he could weather being cooped up in a cage, on display, all alone. Now that he could think a bit clearer again he also realised that he should have called a stop the moment he had started to doubt Fenris’ love for him, and since he had mentioned it he knew his elf would want to have a conversation about it later, but that was only right. They both would need the reassurance, Fenris would need to know that he was alright, and Anders would need to talk about it before it festered in him and grew into something ugly. But now, settled in Fenris’ warm arms and his love, he could not bring himself to feel guilty over not calling his watchword. He had made it, and he would be all the stronger for it.

Anders wriggled a little, his arms snaking around Fenris’ middle as he settled comfortably down for his nap. He smiled into Fenris’ neck, nuzzling there and letting his lover’s sweet purring sounds that he made in response wash over him.

“You love me” he murmured, a confirmation to himself and to Fenris, and then he drifted off to sleep.

He had no idea how long it had been when he woke up again, but he felt decidedly rested and Fenris was still wrapped around him, stroking his hair. He felt comfortably warm and happy, but soon realised what had woken him up as his stomach rumbled again. His groan seemed to tell Fenris that he was awake, and he heard a low chuckle from above him.

“It seems you want more of that food after all, love, don’t you?” Fenris asked him, and Anders only nodded with an embarrassed little smile, moving just enough to look up at him. But as Fenris moved away to procure more of the little bites of food that were still sitting by the side of the tub he pushed himself more upright, actually properly sitting up in bed as Fenris returned.

Anders greeted him with a smile and tugged him in for a sweet, lingering kiss after Fenris had deposited the plate in his lap, and then immediately went to pick up a piece and pop it into his mouth, moaning at the taste of it.

Fenris let out another chuckle and climbed properly onto the bed again, settling next to Anders and snatching a bite for himself as well. “So, more awake again?” he asked, causing the mage to nod, unable to speak around the next bite of food in his mouth.

“And… it was a good experience for you?” he inquired, eyes searching Anders’ face. Anders took his time chewing and swallowing before nodding, reaching out to take Fenris’ hand.

“Very good. It was… like… like I have proven to myself how strong I am. That I can endure such things. And that… that I’m still worth something, somehow. Even though that sounds weird, because I let everyone degrade me like that. But I made it through, I made you proud, I made myself proud, and now you’re taking such good care of me, and you love me even though I’m so weird and messed up and others only see me as a worthless slut, but also I managed to beat my fear of cages, and of public displays, but I know I could only do it because you were there, because I knew I could end it at any moment, but knowing that also made me want to last until the end even more, if you understand what I mean? Because I knew it could end I was able to last longer...”

He sighed a little and leaned in for another kiss. “Thank you for doing this for me, Fenris.”

When he pulled back, he looked into a soft, fondly smiling face. “I am so proud of you, my Anders” Fenris told him and kissed him once more. “So, so proud. It was worth the worry of seeing you struggle at times, of knowing you were hurting. But also...” -his smile turned into a smirk at this- “It is no hardship to see my pet confined there, humiliated by everyone and on display, but still wearing the clear sign that you’re mine, and only mine.”

“Only yours” Anders enthusiastically agreed and turned a bit so he could sit half in Fenris’ lap for more kisses, food already forgotten again for the moment. As he moved though, his hand brushed against a hardening problem in Fenris’ pants, and he hesitated for a moment. He hadn’t even thought about this before.

“Do you… want to have sex?” He wasn’t normally this blunt when seducing or propositioning Fenris, but he also didn’t quite know if that was what he was doing at the time, or if it really was just a question.

“Do _you_ want to have sex?” Fenris asked him in return, one eyebrow raised. Again, Anders hesitated. He didn’t want to leave Fenris wanting, and he knew that sex with him was always great, but he still felt too raw for it, physically and emotionally, and he knew even though he might have fun in the moment it would just leave him feeling hollow.

They had both talked about scenes like the ones they had just done in a sexual context, and maybe Anders would let Fenris cage him sometime and fuck him through the bars or something, but somehow, this experience had not been about kinks or anything remotely sexual at all for him, even if to everyone else it had probably looked like it. But it had been a test of strength and self-discovery and he honestly felt too wrung out still to even get it up. Maybe he should suck Fenris off though if he wanted it…?

“Not… necessarily?” he hazarded. “But… if you wanted a blowjob I could-”

He was cut off by Fenris shaking his head, then leaning in to kiss him silent. “No, Anders. I will not have you service me if you do not feel like it. You know it is always alright if you’re not up for it. I would not even have brought it up, but you asked. I know this was not about sex, so let us keep it that way. You know I love you, more than words could ever say, and I do not need sexual intimacy to prove that.”

Anders smiled at that, feeling vaguely guilty for a moment for having proven again that his feeling of his own self worth was so low that he would offer himself to Fenris like that, but then he pushed it aside in favour of just curling up with his elf again and reaching for the previously discarded plate again to continue eating.

“So… were you planning on taking me back into the Rose and pampering me afterwards all this time? I thought we’d just go back home and snuggle in bed or something” he asked, letting his head roll back enough to meet Fenris’ eye.

Fenris, for his part, was chuckling lightly, that sound that Anders loved so much and couldn’t get enough of, but he nodded. “I rented the room immediately when we planned this. We have all day, we only need to leave again when the customers start coming again, but that shouldn’t be until the evening” Fenris told him, and Anders beamed up at him.

“Well, we should make good of that then. I think I might require a full body massage, and at least one more nap in this fancy bed, and maybe even another bath while I’m more aware. And I also need all the cuddles. I need cuddles for just as long as I’ve been sitting in that cage without a single cuddle from my love whom I love so very much and require cuddles from all the time” he complained, pitching his voice for a melodramatic flair.

And Fenris, angel that he was, just started laughing.

“Your wish is my command today, my love. You know that. What would you like to start with?”


End file.
